4 Months

Today Jacob is 4 months old!

I honestly can't believe that 4 months have gone by and what an amazing kid Jacob has become. When he smiles his whole face brightens and no matter what mood you're in, you can't help but smile back.

- He started laughing at the beginning of this month, but it scared him. Now he smiles big and laughs with no fear of the noise. Sometimes just talking to him can bring out a laugh, but kisses and dips are always good for a guaranteed laugh.
- Jacob began showing interest in his toes a few weeks ago, but only when he was sitting scrunched over and they were easy to get to. Then he started reaching for them whenever he was sitting and just last night he began to bring them up to play with while laying down. He looks like a little monkey in his play gym holding toys with his hands and feet.
- So, so, so close to rolling over. He's done it once completely from each side, but is trying from back to tummy all the time. Once he gets his arm out of the way he'll be rolling all over the place.
- Sitting doesn't seem too far off. He can balance him self in my lap and is starting to put his arms on his legs to balance by himself. He is still learning to push with his arms though because most the time he puts his arms down and then just folds completely in half.
- Toys all the time! He loves all his toys now.
- Teething toys make him so happy. They can be bumpy plastic, water filled, chilled or even vibrating. He loves them all and drools all over them.
- The walker is the best thing on Earth. He loves to stand in the walker, and although he is learning how to make the lights and sounds go off, he is happy as a clam just standing there and chewing on the seat. This has made making dinner so much easier. Jacob plays in his walker in the kitchen and scoots around (always backwards and sideways) the whole time we cook.
- He loves to talk. I have never seen a baby talk so much. I think he even gets louder every day.

Home All Day

I'm no longer employed. Actually, I'm still on payroll for today, but it is my first day not going in the office.

We woke up with Michael, got ready for the day and have played, played, played. It is so different than when I was on maternity leave. During those first 12 weeks I fed Jacob, held and talked to him for 20 minutes until he fell asleep then repeated through the day.

Now we play with toys and explore new things. His personality dominates everything we do.

We actually have a busy day planned of waiting in line at government offices, grocery shopping and tons of laundry, and I'm sure we'll get to it, but we've had so much fun this morning and now as Jacob naps it is nice to take a little break.

Grown Up Time

For the past couple days I've noticed Michael and I get snippy with each other and taking offense to things that were said in jest. This is completely not like us, especially over stupid stuff.

For example:
1:20 AM Thursday morning. I've just sat down in bed with Jacob in my arms.
Michael: Did he wake up?
Me: No, I just decided it was a good time to wake up and hold him.
Michael: I was just asking. (with a humph and then he was back to sleep in 5 seconds)

I was a little snarky saying it, but in all honesty I was just joking at what a silly question it was.

There have been a hundred of those examples just as pointless and I blame exhaustion and the fact that we don't take time out for each other as much as we should. The time we have with Jacob is so limited we spend every spare minute playing with him or doing chores.

Finally last night, after another feelings hurt joke and then checking to make sure everything was ok, I said we need a date night.

I don't know if it was just saying it or planning to go to the movies, but when Jacob fell asleep we were back to our old selves. Joking without feelings getting hurt. Laughing and smiling non-stop. It was the best.

From now on we will definitely make room for grown up time. It doesn't have to be much, but a little goes a long way.

Almost the Weekend!

*If you're new to Little T's Journey, then welcome. I started this to share Jacob's progress with friends and family across the country and it's morphing in to sharing progress and so much more.*

I started a goal at the beginning of the week to post a picture of Lil' Man every day and that quickly failed. I have been taking pictures, but they just aren't making it on the blog. Maybe I should start with once a week and then add to that.

So HAPPY it is almost the weekend! This was my last full week of work, and I can't wait to spend more time with Jacob. He's falling asleep earlier in the evening which is great for time with Michael but only gives me a couple hours a day with Jacob during the week. The best part though (and I don't want to jinx myself again) is that he is sleeping better now. I'll post more about that later and hope it is not a fluke.

No big plans for the weekend, but I saw a blog (and can't remember where, but will give credit when I do) where she painted her pantry door with chalkboard paint. I took the idea to Michael and he fell in love with the concept of the paint and would like to do the whole house in it now. So that and cleaning out the fridge are my two big projects for the weekend. Can't wait to see how it comes out and will definitely share.

Like a lil' Piggy

For some reason I secretly thought that after giving birth to Jacob not only would I go back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and (here's the kicker) I might even lose a couple pounds from that. I mean I didn't really gain much during pregnancy and everyone told me, "It's all baby." Made complete sense in my mind.

Almost 4 months after and I've come to realize that I liked tight fitting shirts because everything in my closet I put on makes me look pregnant still. Only 7 pounds to go, but my body looks like it has 20 something pounds to go.

There is one secret I've learned though that will help me reach my goals - flavored water. I was doing great losing weight and not snacking and then all of a sudden I started snacking daily on chips and cookies. I couldn't figure out what had changed and why I felt I constantly needed to eat again.

All of a sudden it hit me. I was no longer bringing the flavor packets for my water to work with me anymore. The flavor packets have a sweet enough taste that it curbs my needs for sweets.

This morning I stocked up on Crystal Light packets and even a box of Arizona Iced Tea Arnold Palmer packs (because that is my favorite drink on Earth), and I've already lost my need to snack and craving to break into my lunch at 11.


Hopefully I'm back on track again.

Limbo

I am now down to about one week left at my current job and the start of a career change. It is starting to really freak me out.

I've been in marketing since my Junior year of college when I took on working with the small town community theatre, then I interned with Fisher-Price (absolutely amazing in every way), followed by Corporate Communications with Corning Inc., then an internship that morphed into a job for a medical ID company and lastly my current position of marketing and special events manager for a local outlet mall. Marketing has been all that I've done, and I have a proven track record of being good at it.

Now I've quit my job and I'm not quite sure what to do next.

When we decided to try to get pregnant I enrolled in the community college for teacher certification classes. I was burnt out on retail marketing and the long commute, love kids and wanted to have the holidays and summer off to spend with our new baby. The plan was perfect in my head. The only hitch is nobody told me how hard it is to get hired.

In one week I'll be without a job. I'm excited to spend time with Jacob, but not working is completely new to me. I've put in to be a teacher's aide and also substitute for several districts, and Jacob's daycare has offered me a job. It's just trying to figure out what to do next and if the daycare job is stepping back from my goal of teaching.

Big Step

Probably not that big of a step for Jacob, but huge for me...

Jacob is asleep in his crib right now.


About 2 hours ago Jacob had his last bottle for the night and fell asleep soon after. Michael and I chatted this morning about how we need to start transitioning Jacob to his crib because he is almost 4 months and getting too big for the upper part of his pack n' play.

Now I'm actually enjoying some adult time with Michael while turning the video part of the monitor on every few minutes to take a peak.

He's just in the other room, but it seems so far away.


** I do have pictures for yesterday and today, but I'm too lazy to plug the camera in and download them right now.

Lip Balm

* Completely not Jacob related.

When Michael and I first started dating he was completely against the idea of lip balm. He would let his lips dry out and pick at the skin - which is all unacceptable in every way to me.

As our relationship progressed I began carrying a tube of ChapStick around for him and if I saw him pick at his lips I'd kick him under the table. Out of concern for bruises on his legs (I promise I won't parent like this) or the want for a happy girlfriend he started taking the ChapStick when I offered.

I now can proudly say that every morning before leaving the house he puts Burt's Bees lip balm on and reapplies a couple times through the day.

Anyway...this isn't a post to show my accomplishment.

The other day while browsing through the store I went to check out what new lip balms they had. In the middle of the aisle was an 8-pack of Lip Smackers in soda flavors. I'm not a Lip Smacker buyer, and I think that grown woman covering their lips with Strawberry Watermelon glittered Lip Smakers is trashy (sorry if I've offended anyone), but I couldn't pass up a Sprite and Rootbeer flavored lip balm. I figured as cheap as they are I wouldn't mind losing a few.

They're actually a lot better than I thought they would be; both in taste and how they feel on my lips.

Later that night Michael and I were on our way to dinner when I was putting on a coat of Rootbeer and he asked to borrow some. I explained that it wasn't the normal kind we use and to my surprise he was so excited. He loves them and thinks they're 100x better than Burt's Bees (I like them, but this couldn't be more false of a statement).

After listing the flavor to him and watching his excitement grow with each flavor, I'm pretty sure my Cherry Coke will go missing soon.

Weekend Photos

3 Months 2 Weeks 5 Days

We were getting ready to go swimming when we realized Jacob's sun hat no longer fit. Michael helped by putting sun block on his head. He just didn't realize how much is too much so in this picture his hair is hard and covered in sun block. It took a thorough washing to get that soft baby hair back.


3 Months 2 Weeks 6 Days

Jacob got a frog that sings the same counting song over and over again (in English and Spanish) and he loves it (about as much as his daddy hates it). He was so happy to e in his walker, chewing and have the song going.

Something Every Day

Jacob does something every day to amaze me and instead of taking pictures and just filing them away I realized I should post them to show a story of what's going on.

So...we'll start today.
3 Months 2 Weeks 4 Days


This morning while we were getting ready Jacob decided it wasn't fun to sit back in his swing anymore. It is so much more fun to sit up on your own even if you can't hold yourself up.



...and when you're folded over like that you discover new body parts; like feet!



Yesterday Jacob had fun pulling up another baby's shirt and today he decided it is fun to pull up your own shirt. He spent all evening doing this.

As Seen on TV

Who hasn't seen the commercials for this thing? They used to play non-stop showing women shaking away their flab into sculpted arms anyone would be jealous of. For some reason though they just made me laugh.

I can just imagine sitting at home on the couch shaking my weight while Michael stares at me and cracks jokes.

Well one of the ladies at work today just bought this thing and brought it in. She urged me to try it in the mall lobby - luckily there wasn't much traffic coming through - and I was right, I do look ridiculous shaking it, but I love it. I think it is something I could mindlessly do and you quickly start feeling it.

I guess infomercials do have some use besides keeping you entertained during late night feedings.

Social Parade

I love this idea to find other blogs. Hopefully I'll find some other intersting blogs to read and some people will stop by and follow our life with Jacob.

"The Talk"

It seems like we may have to have "the talk" with Jacob sooner than we ever thought.

Last night we went to a friend's house for dinner and so we could get our babies together. I've mentioned before that Claire is only three weeks older than Jacob, so it is fun to get toghether and see how they're progressing and what they've learned.

And oh boy does my little man have a new trick...

As Claire and Jacob were laying next to each Jacob would roll on to his side to stare at Claire. Then he started talking to her.
Then he grabbed the bottom of her shirt.
Then he pulled up.

Being the great mother I am, I took pictures before pulling Claire's shirt down and handing him a toy. Soon the toy was thrown to the side though and the shirt was up again. This went on and on until we moved to the dinner table to eat.

I must say, his daddy is proud.

Already Driving

Just because he is cute as can be - here is a video of Jacob in his ATV. The lights and music are cool and all to him, but as you'll see towards the end of the clip, his absolute favorite thing to do is chew on the chair.

There must be something about that fake leather looking seat that feels so good on his gums.

One Step Easier

I love making things easier. There is no point to add extra steps to something when there is a more efficient way to do it.

My dad actually turned me on to my new favorite site. When I was pregnant he would order diapers from diapers.com and receive them in two days. The prices are good and you don't have to lug around boxes.

Yesterday morning Michael and I were packing everything to stock daycare up on supplies and realized we would be sending our last can of formula to them. I normally try to reorder when we are down to one can, but somehow completely missed this one.

No problem. We still have a few days worth in the can on the counter so I went to diapers.com and reordered to fill our supply. I also went through their sale section and got a vibrating teether (since Jacob is loving his teether toys now) for $3 and small tupperware containers (since I've decided to make foods for Jacob) for $3. No charge for 2 day shipping.

Now I just need to go home on Friday and there will be a box with our necessities and one less thing I need to pick up from the grocery store.

Guilt

Nobody told me how much guilt came with parenting.

No matter what you do or how you parent it seems you feel guilty about something. I thought I was alone on this but saw a post the other day from a working mom that felt guilty because she still enjoyed going to work and a response from a stay at home mom who felt guilty because she no longer contributes financially to her family. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Reading the thread made me think about all the things I've felt guilty about with Jacob.

1) Jacob and I were not a good breast feeding match. We struggled continously with it, and I was determined to make sure he was breastfed. After a couple weeks the doctor had us start supplementing with formula because Jacob just would not gain weight. After using the bottle for that he no longer wanted to be breastfed. I spent so much time feeding him, washing bottles, pumping, over and over again until my supply quickly dropped. I drank organic teas, ate herbs and even oats, and power pumped to try and increase, but it just wouldn't work and Jacob was getting more and more formula. I was so hard on myself and working so hard to get every drop I could that I was no longer enjoying time with my son.
Finally I realized how all my stressing was doing us no good and I let it go. I was able to give him almost 2 months of milk and he was gaining weight and developing on formula. It was time to stop the guilt and enjoy him.

2) I'm lucky enough to have found the most amazing husband in the world and others would be jealous if they knew just how great he is. Before we had Jacob he and I would cook together and he does dishes. Now that Jacob is here he is still that great and helps in every aspect. The only problem is when he helps I feel guilty that I'm not a good mom again because I'm tired, need a break, and pushing off diaper changes, feedings and household chores on to him.
I know he is doing all these things because he wants time with Jacob too and he just likes helping out and at some point I'll just let him do it without overanalyzing in my head.

3) Working and not working. Yep...I can feel guilty about two exact opposites at once. I feel guilty working because I get an hour in the morning with Jacob (if I get myself out of bed early) and then a few hours in the evening before he goes to sleep. I feel guilty about not working/subbing for a while because I'm not contributing to our income and know that I have spending habit.
To come to terms with this I count the days until my last day of my current job and have tried to become more frugal. I've also realized that it is what it is and try not to think about it too much.

The list could go on and on to include small daily moments like when I forgot to pack a blanket to wrap Jacob in at the doctor's office or how I had to drive from day care to the house (short drive) holding Jacob's head up because for some reason my seat propped him forward and his head kept going forward.

I've learned though that there is no time for all those worries and guilty feelings. I feel good about the way I'm raising Jacob and every time he smiles - and now giggles - I know I'm doing fine.

Drool

How can something so small expel so much saliva.

Pictures to follow once my battery recharges.

Milestones

I started this post a couple hours ago and got completely sidetracked. During that time I decided I didn't really like what I was writing and just decided to delete it all. Not that I had something else in mind to post, just in a wishy washy kind of mood.

Jacob just started giggling a couple days ago. It is so freaking cute, but I'm afraid he'll have my laugh. Making faces can get him going every now and then, but the sure fire way to make him laugh is if I sit in front of him and just start talking.

This is how I got the first couple laughs from him, and I'm still trying to figure out what is so funny. Last night I wasn't feeling well so instead of instantly playing with Jacob when I got home we just sat on the couch together and I told him about my day. He thought it was the best thing on Earth and wouldn't stop laughing at everything I said.

Michael wanted some giggles too since he has only really giggled for me. He tried faces and sounds and movments and songs, but no luck. I'm the only one that can make my baby laugh :)

In other great milestone news:

This weekend Jacob rolled over for the first time by himself. I've been working on this with him for a few weeks now by showing him the movements to roll and other activities that I blindly follow from developmental books. Then the one day I got to sleep in and Michael got up with Jacob he rolled over.

I woke up an hour after the two of them got up and as we started playing Michael told me that he rolled over by himself. I was shocked and asked for every detail. Then I asked why he didn't wake me up.

He simply replied, "It's not like I can pause time or rewind it, you just missed it. No point in waking you up."

I tried for the rest of the day to get him to roll. No luck.

Then last night on the way home I was talking to Michael after he had picked up Jacob. He said that Jacob's teacher had asked him if we knew he could roll because during his nap he had rolled from his back to his stomach.

So apparently everyone is going to see him roll before I do.


But at least I can make him laugh!

The Big Reveal

Yesterday we went over to a friend's house for homemade ravioli (yum!) and to find out if they are going to have a boy or girl.

This is kind of a foreign concept to Michael and I since we didn't even wait for the first doctor's appointment to tell family and close friends we were pregnant - our friends waited to tell us until after the first trimester. When we went to the 20 week ultrasound and found out Jacob was a boy Michael didn't even wait until we were out of the doctor's office before texting the news to everyone we know - our friends waited three days and had a small party to tell everyone.

We got to their house and mingled with all of his family and her family. They both come from Italian families so it was a hustle and bustle throughout the kitchen area as they made enough ravioli for an army and topped it all off with angel hair pasta, meatballs, bread, salad and veggies. Finally once most everything was cooked everyone started asking if they would just tell us already. No budge.

Everyone scarfed down their pasta quickly to get to dessert since we knew the reveal would come then. It may just be because I'm not a secret type person, but there is no way I could have stood there and not told someone.

We were all gathered into the kitchen and given a cupcake, but told we couldn't open it until the count of three. 1....2....3... silence!

"Mine has white cream."
"So does mine."

Each of the cupcakes were filled with cream, but during the baking the color had faded and now the cream that was supposed to reveal the sex showed nothing at all. Everyone just stared for a second until the soon-to-be dad's sister-in-law finally blurted out, "so you're having a white baby?"

We all laughed (still not knowing what they were having) and my husband, sweet as can be, was still searching his cupcake to see what everyone was seeing. Finally he understood it was the cream in the center part, but somehow his cupcake got mixed up with the other batch and his had chocolate cream.

Finally we were told they are having a girl.

The secret thing is complete opposite of my style, but the event brought laughter from everyone, and will be a memory to share with Little Tessa once she is born and gets a little older.

Outdoor Saturday

As I mentioned yesterday, I was so excited to take Jacob to the pool today. In fact, not only did we have a pool party planned for today, but we also had a play date with one of my old co-workers and her 4 year old god-son.

We wanted to go to a farmer's market she found thinking it would be an educational experience for the 4 year old and a chance to walk around outside. I talked Michael into it telling him about the great markets I had been to in Boston and even Corning, NY. When we pulled up it was seriously one shed with about 5 different veggies. We got our corn and a bag of beans, but didn't stay for very long.

To extend the play date we headed to the park.

We took a quick break at home to cool off and get a bite to eat and then headed to the pool with Jacob and Scoot.





























After pool and family time our friends with a baby girl just a few weeks older than Jacob came to visit and they finally started interacting with each other. Claire was a little more interested in Jacob, but I'm sure he'll catch on to the concept soon.














Tomorrow we have a birthday party to go to and finally a moment to just lay around and relax!