Jacob had weight gaining issues for the first couple months of his life. He lost almost 10% of his weight while in the hospital and took a month to put it back on. Everyone asked if he was a preemie because of how small he was.If you look at him now though, you would never guess that. I weighed him last night and he is 14lbs - right at or just above the 50th percentile line.
He takes a 7oz bottle about every 3 to 4 hours and (once upon a time) slept soundly from 9:30PM til 6:30AM. Averaging about 6 bottles a day he was taking around 42oz's.
Then on Friday I went to pick Mr. Man up from day care and the director asked me if he had been eating more at home because their daily log showed he was eating about 7oz every 2 hours. We got him home and for the weekend he continued to eat every 3-4 hours. I figured maybe it was just a tough day for him or something and he needed more food.
Monday was even worse though. His sheet said he was eating every 1 to 2 hours. He had eaten 5, 7oz bottles during the day. This puts him at just over 50oz for the day!
We're talking to the day care today to make sure that they aren't just shoving a bottle in his mouth every time he fusses, but actually checking to see if he's bored or tired.
I guess my main question is: I've read several places that there is such thing as too much formula, is this true, and how much is too much? I've emailed our doctor, but would love to hear from others that may have experienced this.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Counting Down
I have 3 weeks and 3 days of work left in my current position. It still seems like a long count down to me, but seeing that number go down bit by bit each day (honestly I count by half days at times) makes me so happy.
When Michael and I started talking about adding a baby to our family I thought I would have no problem going back to work after maternity leave. I grew up with a working mom - and turned out pretty darn well - so I figured I could do it too. Fast forward to one week before it was time for me to return to work. My boss emailed me to make sure I was returning since they hadn't heard from me in about a month and I sadly said that I would be there bright and early Monday morning.
The first day was as hard as everyone says it is. It took all I had not to cry every time someone asked me where Jacob was or how I was doing. I hold myself together much better now, but it is still hard and the day after the weekend (especially a long weekend) is about as hard as the first day was. It kills me that I get an hour in the morning with Jacob and about 3 waking hours at night.
In all honesty there is no point to this post. It just makes me happy to say 3 weeks and 3 days left til I'm home with my Little Man for a while!
Being Thrifty
Michael and I pretty much live at the grocery store.
Every morning I would go to the store on my way to work and pick up breakfast and lunch for the day. In the evening Michael would stop at the store on the way home to pick up dinner and other household needs. Plus our weekend trips where we would get meals for a few nights during the week, but always forget key pieces...which is what kept Michael going to the store in the evenings.
The thing is, every time I go to the store I find something that I must have, so daily visits add up. Every time Michael goes to the store he spends between $50 and $70. Most the time when he comes home and tells me how much he spent after I only asked him to pick up a salad dressing or something I wonder how in the World he does it.
While on maternity leave I started getting better about making sure I got everything for the week in one visit. Feeling pretty proud of myself, and on my quest to save more money so I can spend more time at home than at the office, I decided to start trying coupons.
Michael laughed at me and said he didn't want to be that person at the store with a million coupons and even brought up how frustrated I was when the grocery line was held up because the lady in front of me saved $40 with coupons (seriously...how much do you have to buy and cut for that kind of coupons savings) and then paid with a check which the cashier didn't know what to do with. After laughing at me he agreed to go with me, mostly so we could make sure we got everything we needed and so he could get the special things he likes.
I spent the morning planning out meals for the week and figuring out what we were running low on, and then connected that list to what we had coupons for. I even organized the shopping list and coupons in order for each aisle since I know that store by heart with all the time I spent in there.
By the time we finished shopping, Michael had not been embarassed, we did not hold anyone up in line, we got groceries for the week (except for the BBQ for our sandwiches because we like the brand at the other store better) and saved $15 in coupons.
And once again; something so simple makes me proud!
Every morning I would go to the store on my way to work and pick up breakfast and lunch for the day. In the evening Michael would stop at the store on the way home to pick up dinner and other household needs. Plus our weekend trips where we would get meals for a few nights during the week, but always forget key pieces...which is what kept Michael going to the store in the evenings.
The thing is, every time I go to the store I find something that I must have, so daily visits add up. Every time Michael goes to the store he spends between $50 and $70. Most the time when he comes home and tells me how much he spent after I only asked him to pick up a salad dressing or something I wonder how in the World he does it.
While on maternity leave I started getting better about making sure I got everything for the week in one visit. Feeling pretty proud of myself, and on my quest to save more money so I can spend more time at home than at the office, I decided to start trying coupons.
Michael laughed at me and said he didn't want to be that person at the store with a million coupons and even brought up how frustrated I was when the grocery line was held up because the lady in front of me saved $40 with coupons (seriously...how much do you have to buy and cut for that kind of coupons savings) and then paid with a check which the cashier didn't know what to do with. After laughing at me he agreed to go with me, mostly so we could make sure we got everything we needed and so he could get the special things he likes.
I spent the morning planning out meals for the week and figuring out what we were running low on, and then connected that list to what we had coupons for. I even organized the shopping list and coupons in order for each aisle since I know that store by heart with all the time I spent in there.
By the time we finished shopping, Michael had not been embarassed, we did not hold anyone up in line, we got groceries for the week (except for the BBQ for our sandwiches because we like the brand at the other store better) and saved $15 in coupons.
And once again; something so simple makes me proud!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
All Joy and No Fun
I found this article recently printed in the New York Magazine about how having children makes you less happy.
It is hard to disagree with their scientific studies, and there are pieces that I completely agree with. All in all, I thought it was a pretty interesting read.
I've only been a mom for a touch over 3 months and although my little man makes me happy as can be and I love doing things with him, there are times when I feel like he is such a joy, but parenting is no fun. Those moments mostly revolve when I'm washing bottles for the umpteenth time of the day...
The one part I strongly agree with is that the societal demands of America have made parenting a job. Even though everything you read when you are pregnant (and even after) says not to compare your child to others because all children develop at their own rate, it quickly goes out the window once you start parenting. We are a competitive society. You want the best kids and you want to be the best parent. I love talking, singing, and playing with Jacob but, sometimes it does feel like a job since I'm constantly thinking of what to do next and how it will help him instead of simply having fun with it.
The article also mentions that parents spend more time with their children now then they did in 1975 and have less free time. Although parents crave more free time they still feel like they don't spend enough time with their children or do enough for them. I understand this, and have had long conversations with Michael about how I hate that I only have about 3 waking hours with Jacob every week day, but I don't (yet) feel the need for more free time. Michael and I have made a point to still have time to relax together once Jacob is asleep and we've been on several date nights. As long as we keep that up I think all will be good on that aspect.
Michael and I pretty much got our partying done in college and once we started dating easily transitioned through time into homebodies. One of our favortie things to do is have friends over for game nights and family functions. Because of this, having a child is not too much of a life change for our social life.
Also we are both kids at heart. Even before having a kid I can't count how many visits we've made to Toys R Us and the toy department of Target. We took our niece to the Children's Museum mostly for our enjoyment. And we know our park and the playground equipment on it better than any family with three kids in the neighborhood. In fact, for my birthday last year Michael took me to the circus. At this stage in Jacob's life we can't really do all these things with him, but the anticipation is killing us and it definitely won't be a chore to tote him to the zoo, museums or splash parks, it will be the highlight.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
So Much for Sleep
The above was taken a while ago, but is a glorious picture of a sleeping baby.For the past several weeks Jacob has been sleeping from about 9:30PM to 6:30AM, and we loved every minute of it. In fact, we may have loved it too much and became a bit spoiled by it.
Our friends have a baby that sleeps about 12 hours and you have to wake her up in the morning, but we were just happy to get 6-9 hours of steady sleep from Jacob.
All was good until 4th of July weekend. Friday morning started with the same routine of getting up and fed a little after 6, but then because I didn't have to go into work until later I stayed home with Jacob, until Michael got off early and took the afternoon shift. Even without being at daycare, the schedule seemed about the same.
Saturday brought lots of errands (all the stuff I normally spread out over the week while I was home with him, but now need to squish into the weekend). Little Man spent most the day in his carrier in the back of the truck, on top of a shopping cart or at the frogen yogurt shop. We had a couple hours at home followed by a dinner out with a friend and his daughter (who now calls Jacob her boyfriend) and a quick stop at their house.
That was the END of our glorious routine.
After a 4 day weekend for Jacob I learned it is not easy to just take breaks from a routine and ask him to go back to his good habits that we had just spent several days ruining.
Our new routine still starts at the same time every evening that it did in the past, but has a few more interruptions throughout the night. By a few more interruptions...I mean about 4 to 5 short ones, or 2 long ones, or any combination of that.
After waking up at 2:30 to sooth Jacob and keep putting his pacifier in for an hour I was just starting to fall back asleep around 3:30. Then at 4 he started squirming again and was settled in about 10 minutes. Then at 4:30 he started squirming again and 15 minutes into that I gave up and let him sit in his swing vowing to let Michael deal with the next one even if I had to punch him to wake up.
The only problem with this plan is that when Jacob gets to the noise level that wakes Michael it means Jacob is wide awake and no longer in his half sleep area. And if he fully wakes up after midnight he realizes he's hungry and needs to be fed RIGHT NOW! So poor Michael soothed Jacob while I made a bottle and then I finally got a 30 minute nap while Michael fed him.
After several nights of this routine I was cranky this morning. That lasted until I got a shower and woke up a bit, then I felt like the worst mom on Earth because I had pushed off helping my son and gotten cranky with him.
Even when Jacob was only sleeping hour stretches I never did that. I know he can't help it yet and he is too young to spoil right now. If he cries he needs us, and most his night fussiness is due to gas which I know is painful for him. I can't help but think if I didn't have to wake up to go to work - if Jacob was my job - that wouldn't have happened last night.
I'm looking forward to getting Jacob back in his schedule, especially if there is any chance of me feeling comfortable with moving him to the crib. Most of all though I'm looking forward to being done with the mall and having a couple weeks of full-time Jacob duty before starting the next adventure.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
A New You
When you get pregnant, or even start thinking about having a child, you know it will change your life. Everyone reminds you of this constantly by saying, "Oh, things will never be the same for you." And it is all very true, but not in the ways you would think.
I knew it would mean more nights in which isn't a problem because Michael and I love having people over.
I knew it would mean less sleep. (This has hit me harder than I expected.)
I knew it would mean more responsibility, and making decisions (both small and large) in your life based on what would be best for the little one.
The thing I didn't realize was how easily these changes happen to you, and how I love who I am as a mom.
1) Anyone who knows me, especially as a kid and teen, knows I hate to clean. I love a clean house, but the chore of getting there has absolutely no appeal to me. However, lastnight while sitting on the couch folding Jacob's laundry for the second time in a week, I realized I love doing his laundry. I love gathering all of his bibs and burp cloths from every room in the house, using his special allergen free soap, folding all his laundry. I don't know if it is because it makes me think of how much he has grown when I fold up an outfit to store because he can't fit it anymore; or if it just excites me that all his stuff is clean and ready for him. A very strange change for me, especially since it extends to my stuff too - we both have tidy rooms now and are trying to go clutter free.
2) I cut coupons. This may just be due to the fact that I want to stay home with him and know that every cent helps that, but it didn't happen until Jacob arrived. Michael laughs at it, especially the other day when he ran out to get dog food and I reminded him that I had a coupon he should take.
3) I could go all day just talking about Jacob. This is something I limit because I know people without kids could care less, and people with kids will pretend to listen but really just want to tell you about their kid.
4) I never knew how much you could love someone. I love Michael and my family with all my heart, but with Jacob it is different. I wouldn't say I love him more, but maybe I just think about how I would do anything for him more often. I don't get excited when Michael burps or farts, but when Jacob does it I get a smile on my face because I know it makes him feel better. There isn't really a way to describe this one, it just is what it is.
And lastly:
5) Perhaps something I knew before, but really take to heart now; treasure the small things. Although this easily pertains to Jacob (and how he'll wake up for a feeding at some horrible hour in the night and all I want to do is feed him and put him back to bed - but then while I'm waiting for him to burp he starts wanting to work on his sitting and we stay up for a couple hours because it is so much fun and a moment I don't want to lose) it is also the small moments like a comment from a family member or a look from Michael, or even a kiss from Scoot that mean so much to me and make me realize how great life is.
I'm sure there are a lot of other changes (we're not even going to get into physical changes now) that I don't even realize happened, but I really do love who I've become in this mommy role.
I knew it would mean more nights in which isn't a problem because Michael and I love having people over.
I knew it would mean less sleep. (This has hit me harder than I expected.)
I knew it would mean more responsibility, and making decisions (both small and large) in your life based on what would be best for the little one.
The thing I didn't realize was how easily these changes happen to you, and how I love who I am as a mom.
1) Anyone who knows me, especially as a kid and teen, knows I hate to clean. I love a clean house, but the chore of getting there has absolutely no appeal to me. However, lastnight while sitting on the couch folding Jacob's laundry for the second time in a week, I realized I love doing his laundry. I love gathering all of his bibs and burp cloths from every room in the house, using his special allergen free soap, folding all his laundry. I don't know if it is because it makes me think of how much he has grown when I fold up an outfit to store because he can't fit it anymore; or if it just excites me that all his stuff is clean and ready for him. A very strange change for me, especially since it extends to my stuff too - we both have tidy rooms now and are trying to go clutter free.
2) I cut coupons. This may just be due to the fact that I want to stay home with him and know that every cent helps that, but it didn't happen until Jacob arrived. Michael laughs at it, especially the other day when he ran out to get dog food and I reminded him that I had a coupon he should take.
3) I could go all day just talking about Jacob. This is something I limit because I know people without kids could care less, and people with kids will pretend to listen but really just want to tell you about their kid.
4) I never knew how much you could love someone. I love Michael and my family with all my heart, but with Jacob it is different. I wouldn't say I love him more, but maybe I just think about how I would do anything for him more often. I don't get excited when Michael burps or farts, but when Jacob does it I get a smile on my face because I know it makes him feel better. There isn't really a way to describe this one, it just is what it is.
And lastly:
5) Perhaps something I knew before, but really take to heart now; treasure the small things. Although this easily pertains to Jacob (and how he'll wake up for a feeding at some horrible hour in the night and all I want to do is feed him and put him back to bed - but then while I'm waiting for him to burp he starts wanting to work on his sitting and we stay up for a couple hours because it is so much fun and a moment I don't want to lose) it is also the small moments like a comment from a family member or a look from Michael, or even a kiss from Scoot that mean so much to me and make me realize how great life is.
I'm sure there are a lot of other changes (we're not even going to get into physical changes now) that I don't even realize happened, but I really do love who I've become in this mommy role.
3 Months
Earlier this week my little man celebrated his 3 Month birthday the same day I celebrated my birhtday. It made Michael and I realize that Jacob has the same month for his birthday as Michael and day as me. If that makes any sense to anyone else but us.
And lastly, a cute picture done on the 4th of July of Jacob playing with his favorite toy during the fireworks.
I can't believe how quickly these 13 weeks have gone by and how much Jacob has learned and grown. Some of the amazing things he can do now:
- He loves, loves, loves to sit. Not by himself, but he is definitely working on it. For the past week or so, whenever Jacob is sitting in a lap he grabs on to your fingers and pulls himself into a sitting position. This game can last for up to 30 minutes.
- Not only does he like to sit with help, but he also likes to stand like this too. If sitting gets boring Jacob loves for you to lift your hands a bit so he can pull up into a standing position. Although this game doesn't last as long since it takes so much work, it makes him just as happy.
- Toys finally exist. Since the beginning of this month Jacob has been batting at the toys on his bounce chair and play mat, but didn't care for anything else. Now he really likes to grab on to toys and explore them.
- His hands are always in his mouth. There is no stutter on getting those hands to his mouth anymore, it is a very smooth move to get his hand up and in, and sometimes two hands is better than one.
- No longer do we have to cradle Jacob when we cary him around the house, instead he'd rather be held upright with his head over your shoulder. Throughout the month his neck has gotten much stronger which is nice for me because it means less of his head falling different directions and hitting me in the mouth.
- He's not so quiet anymore. Our boy can talk! Going to restaurants has been so easy with Jacob because he either sleeps or looks around quietly. I think this month/birthday marks the end of that phase. On Monday Michael came up to my office so I could go to lunch with him and Jacob. At the restaurant Jacob wanted to be the star of the conversation and thought yelling would be the best way to accomplish this. He wasn't angry at all, just had a lot to say and thought the quiet restaurant was the best place to let everyone know.
- Mirrors are the best. This isn't new, he has loved mirrors since the beginning, but it is still his favorite thing on the play mat. He just lays there and talks to himself. I also got a larger mirror to help him with tummy time. The idea is he will forget how much he hates tummy time because he's too busy looking at himself...it isn't perfect, but is helping and he is getting better and better with tummy time.
- He's driving!!!! Actually, he let us sit him in his ATV Walker for a bit. It was just too cute.
And lastly, a cute picture done on the 4th of July of Jacob playing with his favorite toy during the fireworks.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
286 Days
286 days until Jacob turns 1. It is a bit early to start celebrating, but kind of exciting. Jacob has only been here for a little under 3 months, but already he has done so much.
1) In this past week he took his first trip. We managed the airports and actually didn't forget anything. He was such a trooper on the plane - nobody even knew there was a baby on board.
2) He attended his first wedding, once again the best baby possible. During the rehearsal he didn't even let the trumpets borrow, however during the wedding he was a bit upset that we didn't sit him up to see what was going on. During the reception everyone stopped us to say how wonderful he was. (We had to agree!)
3) Although I don't like having to buy clothes in a larger size, I love the fact that Jacob no longer fits almost any of his new born outfits. In fact he is wearing 3 month khakis today with a golf shirt and looks like a big kid!
4) The smiles are amazing. The first few were sweet and now that he does it all the time every day it makes you feel like a good parent.
5) Jacob says "I love you." It sounds nuts, but is so true. A couple weeks ago I was playing with Jacob when he mumbled "I love you." I told Michael and he looked at me like I was crazy. Fastforward to the past weekend in Georgia - we were in our room changing Jacob when he did it again. We made him repeat for about an hour until finally letting him go to bed. I know he doesn't know what it means, and that it is not truly saying it, but for that to be the first thing he repeats must means that he hears it all the time and hopefully he realizes how truly loved he is.
6) Sleep! Sleep is a glorious thing. I was a horrible sleeper before I had Jacob and would push myself to exhaustion about once a month, however with Jacob I learned how to nap and fall asleep at 8PM because he kept me on my toes and sleep just didn't exist anymore. He now steadily goes 6-7 hours between his last feeding and the next morning one. There is usually one 15 minute stretch where he needs to be calmed, but still so much better than getting up ever 1 1/2 hours.
7) It's small, but from the day Jacob came home he has been great at tracking objects with his eyes. In just the past week he started turning his head to follow things. Not only does he move his head to see things, but he has also realized he can move his head so he sits and turns his head all around just to try it out.
8) Jacob is on a mission to see how many fingers he can get in his mouth. Sometimes one hand, sometimes both hands. There is just nothing better in the world to him.
1) In this past week he took his first trip. We managed the airports and actually didn't forget anything. He was such a trooper on the plane - nobody even knew there was a baby on board.
2) He attended his first wedding, once again the best baby possible. During the rehearsal he didn't even let the trumpets borrow, however during the wedding he was a bit upset that we didn't sit him up to see what was going on. During the reception everyone stopped us to say how wonderful he was. (We had to agree!)
3) Although I don't like having to buy clothes in a larger size, I love the fact that Jacob no longer fits almost any of his new born outfits. In fact he is wearing 3 month khakis today with a golf shirt and looks like a big kid!
4) The smiles are amazing. The first few were sweet and now that he does it all the time every day it makes you feel like a good parent.
5) Jacob says "I love you." It sounds nuts, but is so true. A couple weeks ago I was playing with Jacob when he mumbled "I love you." I told Michael and he looked at me like I was crazy. Fastforward to the past weekend in Georgia - we were in our room changing Jacob when he did it again. We made him repeat for about an hour until finally letting him go to bed. I know he doesn't know what it means, and that it is not truly saying it, but for that to be the first thing he repeats must means that he hears it all the time and hopefully he realizes how truly loved he is.
6) Sleep! Sleep is a glorious thing. I was a horrible sleeper before I had Jacob and would push myself to exhaustion about once a month, however with Jacob I learned how to nap and fall asleep at 8PM because he kept me on my toes and sleep just didn't exist anymore. He now steadily goes 6-7 hours between his last feeding and the next morning one. There is usually one 15 minute stretch where he needs to be calmed, but still so much better than getting up ever 1 1/2 hours.
7) It's small, but from the day Jacob came home he has been great at tracking objects with his eyes. In just the past week he started turning his head to follow things. Not only does he move his head to see things, but he has also realized he can move his head so he sits and turns his head all around just to try it out.
8) Jacob is on a mission to see how many fingers he can get in his mouth. Sometimes one hand, sometimes both hands. There is just nothing better in the world to him.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
He has a neck!
At Jacob's 2 month appointment he didn't want to show the doctor that he could easily raise his head when on his tummy. From that day forward we dramatically increased the amount of tummy time we did each day. We wanted to make sure he aced that development test at the next appointment.
That plan didn't quite work. I'd put him down on top of me, flat on the mat, pillow on the mat, over a mirror... every combination possible, but all he wanted to do was suck his fingers and kick his legs.
Last night Michael put Jacob on hi chest and what do you know - he held up his head! I kept trying and got the smallest lift, but nothing substantial. All of a sudden this afternoon I put him on my chest and he kept his head up high almost the entire time.
He's sitting up in his Bumbo and holding his head up, he'll be crawling around before we know it.
That plan didn't quite work. I'd put him down on top of me, flat on the mat, pillow on the mat, over a mirror... every combination possible, but all he wanted to do was suck his fingers and kick his legs.
Last night Michael put Jacob on hi chest and what do you know - he held up his head! I kept trying and got the smallest lift, but nothing substantial. All of a sudden this afternoon I put him on my chest and he kept his head up high almost the entire time.
He's sitting up in his Bumbo and holding his head up, he'll be crawling around before we know it.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
2 Months and a some
Jacob Tiger has reached the 2 month mark. I can't believe my little boy is already 2 months, I feel like this next year, and probably many after that will fly by. Every single little developmental mark makes me so proud. You always think it is funny how people think their little one is advanced and so amazing, but I definitely fall in that group now.
In just the past couple weeks Jacob has started smiling more and more. It's a smile that can melt your heart. It doesn't take much to make him smile, just a rub on the cheek or silly face, but just to know that you can make him so happy is a great feeling. However, today all he wanted to do was sleep in my arms, but that doesn't feel too bad either.
The time awake now is a great change too. Jacob now takes two naps a day, one around 10 and one around 3. It helps me plan when I can get some stuff done and also gives us a lot of play time now. Even when I take him shopping he keeps his eyes open a bit longer now. The first time he did this was last week at Target and his eyes were just so big taking in all the colors.
Jacob also went to his first birthday party for a wonderful little (now) 3 year old. All anyone could say was how much the parties have changed now that we all have little ones - or have one on the way. We sat at the baby table with Claire, 3 weeks older, Jedi, 2 months older and Colt, who made a few appearances while running around and is 16 months old. Plus Justin and Karen with their little one that will make an appearance in about 5.5 months.
The sad part of hitting the 2 month mark is there isn't much time left until I have to go back to work. Luckily I have a plan, and 100% hope that it will all work out. I've become too addicted watching all the milestones we've hit so far to dare miss any future ones.
In just the past couple weeks Jacob has started smiling more and more. It's a smile that can melt your heart. It doesn't take much to make him smile, just a rub on the cheek or silly face, but just to know that you can make him so happy is a great feeling. However, today all he wanted to do was sleep in my arms, but that doesn't feel too bad either.
The time awake now is a great change too. Jacob now takes two naps a day, one around 10 and one around 3. It helps me plan when I can get some stuff done and also gives us a lot of play time now. Even when I take him shopping he keeps his eyes open a bit longer now. The first time he did this was last week at Target and his eyes were just so big taking in all the colors.
Jacob also went to his first birthday party for a wonderful little (now) 3 year old. All anyone could say was how much the parties have changed now that we all have little ones - or have one on the way. We sat at the baby table with Claire, 3 weeks older, Jedi, 2 months older and Colt, who made a few appearances while running around and is 16 months old. Plus Justin and Karen with their little one that will make an appearance in about 5.5 months.
The sad part of hitting the 2 month mark is there isn't much time left until I have to go back to work. Luckily I have a plan, and 100% hope that it will all work out. I've become too addicted watching all the milestones we've hit so far to dare miss any future ones.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
It has been awhile
I've forgotten to post for awhile now. Not actually forgotten, but thought about it and then ran off to do something else. A couple of the things I wanted to post.
1) A couple days ago I realized that even though Jacob can't talk, he does have a say in what he wears. If he doesn't like the cute outfit I put together for him he lets me know by finding a way to pee through his diaper. This doesn't happen all the time, but the other day he peed through every diaper I put on him as if he hated each outfit I chose until it was time to take a bath and put on his sleeper.
2) Another pee related post (since the majority of my day is spent with diapers now). Jacob loves bath time!!!! I highly, highly, HIGHLY, recommend the bath tub we have for Jacob. I don't know the name for it, but it gives you the temp of the water and a zone for what baby finds comfortable. Ever since we found batteries for the tub to actually get the thermometer to work he has loved bath time. And to the pee... now that he loves it so much; he pees every time he takes a bath. It is great because we don't have to clean it up in the tub, but it is so funny to see him smile as it happens.
3) Jacob went to his first movie this weekend! We have a drive in theater close and met up with some friends (one couple and their little one that is a few weeks older than Jacob, and another couple that announced to us they are expecting!!!!). Jacob didn't care for the movie nearly as much as he loved looking at the moon, but he was so good.
A quick meal during the slow part of the movie.
Nap for the very last part of the first movie. Mommy and Daddy wanted to do the same about this time.
I want to go back when Marmaduke plays there, and this time we'll take Scoot ;)
1) A couple days ago I realized that even though Jacob can't talk, he does have a say in what he wears. If he doesn't like the cute outfit I put together for him he lets me know by finding a way to pee through his diaper. This doesn't happen all the time, but the other day he peed through every diaper I put on him as if he hated each outfit I chose until it was time to take a bath and put on his sleeper.
2) Another pee related post (since the majority of my day is spent with diapers now). Jacob loves bath time!!!! I highly, highly, HIGHLY, recommend the bath tub we have for Jacob. I don't know the name for it, but it gives you the temp of the water and a zone for what baby finds comfortable. Ever since we found batteries for the tub to actually get the thermometer to work he has loved bath time. And to the pee... now that he loves it so much; he pees every time he takes a bath. It is great because we don't have to clean it up in the tub, but it is so funny to see him smile as it happens.
3) Jacob went to his first movie this weekend! We have a drive in theater close and met up with some friends (one couple and their little one that is a few weeks older than Jacob, and another couple that announced to us they are expecting!!!!). Jacob didn't care for the movie nearly as much as he loved looking at the moon, but he was so good.
A quick meal during the slow part of the movie.
Nap for the very last part of the first movie. Mommy and Daddy wanted to do the same about this time.I want to go back when Marmaduke plays there, and this time we'll take Scoot ;)
Monday, May 10, 2010
A Side Note...
Monday is TV night in our house. It usually means a quick, easy dinner (frozen pizza) and then recording shows in both rooms since there are so many to watch.
Right now we're watching "24." Actually, it is getting a little gross right now so I'm on the computer with the show on in the background. The best part of this relaxing night though is the amazing part of my life on the couch.
Scoot has his normal spot on the couch facing the window, and beside him is Michael with a sleeping Jacob nestled against his shoulder.
I love Michael every day, but honestly there are a few moments where I feel like I couldn't love him anymore:
1) The day of our wedding. From before we saw each other that day and he was planning ways to break into the closed alterations store where my dress was stuck, seeing him as I walked down the aisle, letting loose at the reception, to the moment we left the reception as husband and wife.
2) Last night when Michael decided to do story time. Seeing him sitting in the glider while reading Petunia at the Bat was the most adorable thing and Michael melted my heart.
3) This moment now. He just looks so natural with Jacob, and with Scoot next to them it is my 3 favorite guys in one spot. So adorable.
I can't wait for more moments like this. Even though there isn't much sleep these days, I don't think I could ever ask for anything more.
Right now we're watching "24." Actually, it is getting a little gross right now so I'm on the computer with the show on in the background. The best part of this relaxing night though is the amazing part of my life on the couch.
Scoot has his normal spot on the couch facing the window, and beside him is Michael with a sleeping Jacob nestled against his shoulder.
I love Michael every day, but honestly there are a few moments where I feel like I couldn't love him anymore:
1) The day of our wedding. From before we saw each other that day and he was planning ways to break into the closed alterations store where my dress was stuck, seeing him as I walked down the aisle, letting loose at the reception, to the moment we left the reception as husband and wife.
2) Last night when Michael decided to do story time. Seeing him sitting in the glider while reading Petunia at the Bat was the most adorable thing and Michael melted my heart.
3) This moment now. He just looks so natural with Jacob, and with Scoot next to them it is my 3 favorite guys in one spot. So adorable.
I can't wait for more moments like this. Even though there isn't much sleep these days, I don't think I could ever ask for anything more.
Shake, Rattle and Roll
On Friday Michael and I tried to get Jacob excited about his toys since we now have to keep him entertained instead of nappy. We started with Sophie the giraffe and he fell asleep with his arm around her. Then we tried the rattle and he couldn't care less.
Sunday we tried again, and although the toys don't entertain him that much (however he does like mirrors now) he learned to hold on to his toys! I first noticed when he had pulled his pacifier out of his mouth and was so pissed that it wasn't in his mouth but I couldn't help because he was holding the pacifier in his hand and I was so proud of that. After getting agitated enough he dropped the pacifier and I replaced it in his mouth, and all was good in the world.
As I was getting ready for the day later on he was in my lap as I put make up on. He played with my mascara and an eye pencil, holding and swinging it all around. So cute!
Any way, below is a video of him with his rattle.
Sunday we tried again, and although the toys don't entertain him that much (however he does like mirrors now) he learned to hold on to his toys! I first noticed when he had pulled his pacifier out of his mouth and was so pissed that it wasn't in his mouth but I couldn't help because he was holding the pacifier in his hand and I was so proud of that. After getting agitated enough he dropped the pacifier and I replaced it in his mouth, and all was good in the world.
As I was getting ready for the day later on he was in my lap as I put make up on. He played with my mascara and an eye pencil, holding and swinging it all around. So cute!
Any way, below is a video of him with his rattle.
Friday, May 7, 2010
1 more month until our next appt
Today we had Jacob's 1 month doctor appointment to check his weight, and the appointment made me realize what a great doctor's office we chose. I will recommend them to everyone!
I got to our appointment about 15 minutes early and the office was completely dark. If I hadn't checked the appointment reminder card right before leaving the house I would have thought that I showed up on the wrong day and the office was currently closed, but then I remembered our first appointment and that showing up early to a 1 o'clock appointment means you are showing up while everyone is at lunch. So we signed in and waited for everyone to come strolling back.
It only took a few minutes and the receptionist came in and said hi, then two minutes later the nurse came to the door and called us back like old friends. As I got to the door he took Jacob's carrier for me and noted how big he is getting. That comment alone won me over since everyone else that meets Jacob says he is so small, it was nice hearing someone else notice his growth.
We got into the room and started the normal procedure as he told me how he and his wife were thinking of having another kid. It is such a friendly office, and not forced conversation like most offices.
Anyway, the important stuff:
Weight 8lbs 4.5ozs
Length 21.5 inches
Head 15 inches
His head was re-measured because he couldn't believe the growth in just a month. We have a smart baby :)
Dr. Anstee came in and was so proud of his weight gain. Even though he got off to a slow start she said he was putting on the weight perfectly now. She rolled him on his tummy and Jacob showed how strong he was raising his head twice for her. All looks good!
The only issues we have now:
1) He's starting to drool which although there are no teeth showing yet, means that teething is around the corner. Se we just need to keep an eye out for it.
2) Jacob likes to take cat naps now. No full naps. He starts to fuss and get sleepy, so I soothe him to sleep and then by the time I get ready to take a nap with him he wakes up. The doctor said I should keep him entertained when he wants to sleep to try and avoid the quick naps, and if he is really tired he'll ignore me and take a real nap. This should also help with teaching him the difference between night and day. Since he still wakes up several time through the night and takes forever to fall back asleep we're going to see if ending the cat naps helps. If he hasn't started sleeping through the night more by the next appointment in a month then she's going to teach us some tough love options to soothe him back to sleep instead of picking him up and feeding throughout the night.
Once the visit was done she reminded me about the vaccinations we start at the next visit and reminded me to call or email her if I had any issues or questions. So nice!
As we checked out the receptionist came from behind the counter to see Jacob and made me feel like a proud mom again. Then as we got ready to walk out she told us "Happy Mother's Day."
Michael and I chose this office the night before I went in to have Jacob and we really lucked out. I wish Dr. Anstee was my doctor too.
I got to our appointment about 15 minutes early and the office was completely dark. If I hadn't checked the appointment reminder card right before leaving the house I would have thought that I showed up on the wrong day and the office was currently closed, but then I remembered our first appointment and that showing up early to a 1 o'clock appointment means you are showing up while everyone is at lunch. So we signed in and waited for everyone to come strolling back.
It only took a few minutes and the receptionist came in and said hi, then two minutes later the nurse came to the door and called us back like old friends. As I got to the door he took Jacob's carrier for me and noted how big he is getting. That comment alone won me over since everyone else that meets Jacob says he is so small, it was nice hearing someone else notice his growth.
We got into the room and started the normal procedure as he told me how he and his wife were thinking of having another kid. It is such a friendly office, and not forced conversation like most offices.
Anyway, the important stuff:
Weight 8lbs 4.5ozs
Length 21.5 inches
Head 15 inches
His head was re-measured because he couldn't believe the growth in just a month. We have a smart baby :)
Dr. Anstee came in and was so proud of his weight gain. Even though he got off to a slow start she said he was putting on the weight perfectly now. She rolled him on his tummy and Jacob showed how strong he was raising his head twice for her. All looks good!
The only issues we have now:
1) He's starting to drool which although there are no teeth showing yet, means that teething is around the corner. Se we just need to keep an eye out for it.
2) Jacob likes to take cat naps now. No full naps. He starts to fuss and get sleepy, so I soothe him to sleep and then by the time I get ready to take a nap with him he wakes up. The doctor said I should keep him entertained when he wants to sleep to try and avoid the quick naps, and if he is really tired he'll ignore me and take a real nap. This should also help with teaching him the difference between night and day. Since he still wakes up several time through the night and takes forever to fall back asleep we're going to see if ending the cat naps helps. If he hasn't started sleeping through the night more by the next appointment in a month then she's going to teach us some tough love options to soothe him back to sleep instead of picking him up and feeding throughout the night.
Once the visit was done she reminded me about the vaccinations we start at the next visit and reminded me to call or email her if I had any issues or questions. So nice!
As we checked out the receptionist came from behind the counter to see Jacob and made me feel like a proud mom again. Then as we got ready to walk out she told us "Happy Mother's Day."
Michael and I chose this office the night before I went in to have Jacob and we really lucked out. I wish Dr. Anstee was my doctor too.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
1 Month Old
I can't believe Jacob is already 1 month old. It seems like time is just flying by, and he's growing so fast.
It's strange when we go out shopping or to dinner and people comment on how small he is. He seems huge to me now, and so strong. We're still struggling with the whole sleeping at night thing, but during the day he doesn't sleep nearly as much. He wakes up fully around 11AM and never takes a full nap during the day anymore, but instead about a 20-30 minute nap every few hours.
Tomorrow we have our 1 month dr. appointment and I can't wait to see how much he weighs now. He's not quite as excited since it is the first appointment for vaccinations...poor thing.
On the night of his 1 month birthday Jacob gifted us with an explosive diaper. We were out celebrating Cinco de Mayo with a couple friends and I was holding Jacob just after a feeding. All of a sudden he let out a huge fart that was definitely a poop. I ran my hand across his back and felt a wet spot on his onesie. Lovely! I took him to the ladies' room for a quick diaper and outfit change. I figured it was about time we had our first...but then today he had another. I'm hoping this isn't the new trend for this month.
A little random for this, but while we were out last night I also met a very strange man. We were sitting in the lobby waiting for a table when this old man in overalls and a straw cowboy hat sat down next to me. He made a couple comments about how cute Jacob was and I smiled politely and said thank you. Then he asked, "Does he smoke cigars." I thought maybe he was just going crazy and laughed and said no. Then turned around which most people realize means the conversation is done. No kidding he kept talking til he got my attention and said, "I call the nipple a cigar." I smiled again and turned around again. Then he tapped me on the shoulder and once again asked, "so does he smoke cigars?" Conversation over! Jacob and I moved away and quickly engaged in the conversation of our friends.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Daily Play
Every day Jacob and I play the same activities. I seem to get some more enjoyment out of them than he does, but it will be for his benefit in the end.
A little bit of tummy time. It isn't his favorite activity, but he is quick to pick up on it and can move his head easily and pre-crawl like a champ. Before we know it he'll be running around the house chasing after Scoot.
This is one of Jacob's first few times practicing sitting in his Bumbo chair. His neck isn't strong enough for long periods of time in it, but he can handle a minute or so. Also, his attitude can't take being in it for more than a minute, but that will change too.
A little bit of tummy time. It isn't his favorite activity, but he is quick to pick up on it and can move his head easily and pre-crawl like a champ. Before we know it he'll be running around the house chasing after Scoot.
This is one of Jacob's first few times practicing sitting in his Bumbo chair. His neck isn't strong enough for long periods of time in it, but he can handle a minute or so. Also, his attitude can't take being in it for more than a minute, but that will change too.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I'm going to be SOOOOOO Big!
Jacob doesn't like going more than a week without seeing his doctor. Everyone in the office is super nice and there is always someone in the waiting room to tell him how cute he is. It's the perfect place...if they would just stop sticking his heel with needles.
Last night Michael noticed some pus coming out of Jacob's belly button so we got hold of the doctor on call who told us to come in today. All is good. It's just a minor infection that we now have some ointment for and should be gone in about a week.
The best part of the appointment was what happened when we first got in the exam room though...I mean I'm very excited to find out that there is nothing to worry about with the infection, but his weight made me so happy.
After having to make sure he gets enough to eat and watching his weight so closely to make sure he got to his birth weight in two weeks, it was amazing to see that he had gained 10 ounces in just over a week! My baby boy will be 8 lbs in no time at all.
I'm looking forward to the end of feedings every two hours, but seeing him grow is just the best!!
Last night Michael noticed some pus coming out of Jacob's belly button so we got hold of the doctor on call who told us to come in today. All is good. It's just a minor infection that we now have some ointment for and should be gone in about a week.
The best part of the appointment was what happened when we first got in the exam room though...I mean I'm very excited to find out that there is nothing to worry about with the infection, but his weight made me so happy.
After having to make sure he gets enough to eat and watching his weight so closely to make sure he got to his birth weight in two weeks, it was amazing to see that he had gained 10 ounces in just over a week! My baby boy will be 8 lbs in no time at all.
I'm looking forward to the end of feedings every two hours, but seeing him grow is just the best!!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Diaper Changes
Last night Michael took Jacob to see if he needed a diaper change, and came back out laughing. Apparently Jacob not only gave a little squirt this time during the change; this time he decided to go the distance and cover the wall, himself and changing table.
Scoot's lessons on marking your territory really got through to Jacob, and I found it hysterical.
Today I'm home alone with Jacob and decided to wake him up for a diaper change and figured it would be easy since he was so tired and out of it. I'm not sure if it is because I'm so tired too, or my mind just wasn't with it, but I didn't get the clean diaper unfolded and ready. As I unfolded the new diaper I looked down at Jacob to see a stream of pee flying up in the air and covering a good section of the wall.
I got the stream covered and was ready to move on when all of a sudden his farts were no longer just air and there was still no diaper down.
Now Jacob is in another outfit for the day and both changing pad covers are in the wash. Guess that's what I deserve for laughing at Michael.
Scoot's lessons on marking your territory really got through to Jacob, and I found it hysterical.
Today I'm home alone with Jacob and decided to wake him up for a diaper change and figured it would be easy since he was so tired and out of it. I'm not sure if it is because I'm so tired too, or my mind just wasn't with it, but I didn't get the clean diaper unfolded and ready. As I unfolded the new diaper I looked down at Jacob to see a stream of pee flying up in the air and covering a good section of the wall.
I got the stream covered and was ready to move on when all of a sudden his farts were no longer just air and there was still no diaper down.
Now Jacob is in another outfit for the day and both changing pad covers are in the wash. Guess that's what I deserve for laughing at Michael.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Jacob is here!
A little late...just a week and a half. Time has flown by, but it is already impossible to imagine life without Jacob in it. It is absolutely amazing how much he develops each and every day.
Just a few things since Jacob arrived:
1) His Arrival
We checked in to the hospital at 5:30 AM and immediately got our labor room. They started the meds right away and let us get settled in. I was far enough along that the doctor could come in and break my water, we just didn't know when he would be heading over to the hospital. At one point the nurse said he may come around lunch, so I figured we'd be in for a long day, but he actually got there around mid morning and easily broke my water to get things started. With the amount of fluid I had he agreed with the nurse that I was lucky it didn't break out of the hospital since it would be really embarrassing with that much fluid. My contractions were right on top of each other, but it took a few more hours for the pain to start kicking in. When the nurse came to check in on me I still didn't have any pain, but she said the lady in the room next to me was getting her epidural so she was going to get me ready for it since it would be awhile for the anesthesiologist to get to me. She was right! The pain started and since my contractions were so close there was no time to rest in between them. I was so ready for the pain meds. Finally they came in and the epidural was not painful at all.
The only problem was once the medicine started kicking in Jacob's heartbeat plummeted. He was stressed from the intensity and speed of the contractions plus the medicine. They quickly flipped me to my side, hooked up the oxygen and gave me a shot of something. Finally his heartbeat went back to normal.
A couple hours later I could feel the contractions again but didn't want to push the button for more medicine because I was scared for Jacob. When the nurse came in I told her I could feel the contractions again and she gave me the go ahead to push the button once and wait 20 minutes to push it again. Of course as soon as I hit it Jacob's heartbeat went down again. The oxygen got it back to normal again, but I knew I definitely didn't want to hit the button again.
They checked my progress and the nurse was shocked that I was just about ready to push, so honestly it wasn't even up to me if I wanted more meds or not.
At that same time the lady in the room next to me started labor so my nurse had to go assist her and another nurse came in to check on me. I told her I felt pressure to push so she checked me again even though it had only been about 30 minutes and she said my feeling to push was the understatement of the year, Jacob was ready to arrive!
Pushing was so much harder than I ever thought it would be and I don't know how some people can do that for hours. I was exhausted and only had to do it for about 40 minutes.
The minute I saw him I was in love, and fell even more in love with him watching Michael run around the room following the nurses for pictures.
The birth was much easier than I thought it would be.
2) Gas
A couple months ago I was reading a newborn book and there was some section about gas and dirty diapers. I think it said something about how loud the farts are, and I told Michael that I thought it would be hilarious. Now with Jacob here, I can say that I was right. It is the funniest thing on Earth.
The second night home Michael and I were laying in bed with Jacob after a feeding, completely exhausted and ready for him to fall asleep. All of a sudden the silence was broken by the loudest fart you could ever imagine coming from a baby. I couldn't stop laughing.
The farts continue to be funny, even though they mean there is a dirty diaper or one on the way. In fact the farts are becoming even more funny because now they are accompanied by the most adorable faces.
3) Ahead of the Game
Jacob is a week and a half old now, and he is a genius. If not a genius he will definitely be a good athlete. Within the first several days Jacob could raise his head while burping him and turn from side to side. Since then he has been practicing his head movement by constantly lifting his head during burping sessions. Amazing, but a little scary now that he's spitting up more.
Also, at this stage babies should be able to see clearly 8 to 12 inches away from their faces. Jacob can follow fingers much further than that. He's amazing!
4) Doctor Visits
Jacob and I don't have compatible blood types so there was no way he was going to get away without having Jaundice. Poor little thing. This has caused extra doctor visits and even a return to the hospital to have his blood tested during the weekend. We're hoping that his levels have peaked, we at least know that it isn't going up very fast anymore, so that's a good thing. However, because of the amount of weight he lost right after birth and the Jaundice, we have to supplement his feeding with a couple of ounces of formula during each session...which has caused the increase of spitting up.
And just because we can't have things go smoothly Jacob and I now have back to back appointments on Friday because of an allergic reaction to my pain medication which has caused a lovely rash all over.
I'll get better about posting again. I've wanted to post for a while now about the things he does that make me laugh and shock me with how amazing a growing human can be, but there just hasn't been time or energy these past few days. Now that we're falling into a rhythm and I'm learning how to sleep during the day time naps :) I'll keep up!
Tomorrow we head up to Conroe to visit my office and a trip to Babies R' Us for a few small necessities (it's amazing how many diapers you go through)!
Just a few things since Jacob arrived:
1) His Arrival
We checked in to the hospital at 5:30 AM and immediately got our labor room. They started the meds right away and let us get settled in. I was far enough along that the doctor could come in and break my water, we just didn't know when he would be heading over to the hospital. At one point the nurse said he may come around lunch, so I figured we'd be in for a long day, but he actually got there around mid morning and easily broke my water to get things started. With the amount of fluid I had he agreed with the nurse that I was lucky it didn't break out of the hospital since it would be really embarrassing with that much fluid. My contractions were right on top of each other, but it took a few more hours for the pain to start kicking in. When the nurse came to check in on me I still didn't have any pain, but she said the lady in the room next to me was getting her epidural so she was going to get me ready for it since it would be awhile for the anesthesiologist to get to me. She was right! The pain started and since my contractions were so close there was no time to rest in between them. I was so ready for the pain meds. Finally they came in and the epidural was not painful at all.
The only problem was once the medicine started kicking in Jacob's heartbeat plummeted. He was stressed from the intensity and speed of the contractions plus the medicine. They quickly flipped me to my side, hooked up the oxygen and gave me a shot of something. Finally his heartbeat went back to normal.
A couple hours later I could feel the contractions again but didn't want to push the button for more medicine because I was scared for Jacob. When the nurse came in I told her I could feel the contractions again and she gave me the go ahead to push the button once and wait 20 minutes to push it again. Of course as soon as I hit it Jacob's heartbeat went down again. The oxygen got it back to normal again, but I knew I definitely didn't want to hit the button again.
They checked my progress and the nurse was shocked that I was just about ready to push, so honestly it wasn't even up to me if I wanted more meds or not.
At that same time the lady in the room next to me started labor so my nurse had to go assist her and another nurse came in to check on me. I told her I felt pressure to push so she checked me again even though it had only been about 30 minutes and she said my feeling to push was the understatement of the year, Jacob was ready to arrive!
Pushing was so much harder than I ever thought it would be and I don't know how some people can do that for hours. I was exhausted and only had to do it for about 40 minutes.
The minute I saw him I was in love, and fell even more in love with him watching Michael run around the room following the nurses for pictures.
The birth was much easier than I thought it would be.
2) Gas
A couple months ago I was reading a newborn book and there was some section about gas and dirty diapers. I think it said something about how loud the farts are, and I told Michael that I thought it would be hilarious. Now with Jacob here, I can say that I was right. It is the funniest thing on Earth.
The second night home Michael and I were laying in bed with Jacob after a feeding, completely exhausted and ready for him to fall asleep. All of a sudden the silence was broken by the loudest fart you could ever imagine coming from a baby. I couldn't stop laughing.
The farts continue to be funny, even though they mean there is a dirty diaper or one on the way. In fact the farts are becoming even more funny because now they are accompanied by the most adorable faces.
3) Ahead of the Game
Jacob is a week and a half old now, and he is a genius. If not a genius he will definitely be a good athlete. Within the first several days Jacob could raise his head while burping him and turn from side to side. Since then he has been practicing his head movement by constantly lifting his head during burping sessions. Amazing, but a little scary now that he's spitting up more.
Also, at this stage babies should be able to see clearly 8 to 12 inches away from their faces. Jacob can follow fingers much further than that. He's amazing!
4) Doctor Visits
Jacob and I don't have compatible blood types so there was no way he was going to get away without having Jaundice. Poor little thing. This has caused extra doctor visits and even a return to the hospital to have his blood tested during the weekend. We're hoping that his levels have peaked, we at least know that it isn't going up very fast anymore, so that's a good thing. However, because of the amount of weight he lost right after birth and the Jaundice, we have to supplement his feeding with a couple of ounces of formula during each session...which has caused the increase of spitting up.
And just because we can't have things go smoothly Jacob and I now have back to back appointments on Friday because of an allergic reaction to my pain medication which has caused a lovely rash all over.
I'll get better about posting again. I've wanted to post for a while now about the things he does that make me laugh and shock me with how amazing a growing human can be, but there just hasn't been time or energy these past few days. Now that we're falling into a rhythm and I'm learning how to sleep during the day time naps :) I'll keep up!
Tomorrow we head up to Conroe to visit my office and a trip to Babies R' Us for a few small necessities (it's amazing how many diapers you go through)!