A New You

When you get pregnant, or even start thinking about having a child, you know it will change your life. Everyone reminds you of this constantly by saying, "Oh, things will never be the same for you." And it is all very true, but not in the ways you would think.

I knew it would mean more nights in which isn't a problem because Michael and I love having people over.
I knew it would mean less sleep. (This has hit me harder than I expected.)
I knew it would mean more responsibility, and making decisions (both small and large) in your life based on what would be best for the little one.

The thing I didn't realize was how easily these changes happen to you, and how I love who I am as a mom.

1) Anyone who knows me, especially as a kid and teen, knows I hate to clean. I love a clean house, but the chore of getting there has absolutely no appeal to me. However, lastnight while sitting on the couch folding Jacob's laundry for the second time in a week, I realized I love doing his laundry. I love gathering all of his bibs and burp cloths from every room in the house, using his special allergen free soap, folding all his laundry. I don't know if it is because it makes me think of how much he has grown when I fold up an outfit to store because he can't fit it anymore; or if it just excites me that all his stuff is clean and ready for him. A very strange change for me, especially since it extends to my stuff too - we both have tidy rooms now and are trying to go clutter free.

2) I cut coupons. This may just be due to the fact that I want to stay home with him and know that every cent helps that, but it didn't happen until Jacob arrived. Michael laughs at it, especially the other day when he ran out to get dog food and I reminded him that I had a coupon he should take.

3) I could go all day just talking about Jacob. This is something I limit because I know people without kids could care less, and people with kids will pretend to listen but really just want to tell you about their kid.

4) I never knew how much you could love someone. I love Michael and my family with all my heart, but with Jacob it is different. I wouldn't say I love him more, but maybe I just think about how I would do anything for him more often. I don't get excited when Michael burps or farts, but when Jacob does it I get a smile on my face because I know it makes him feel better. There isn't really a way to describe this one, it just is what it is.

And lastly:

5) Perhaps something I knew before, but really take to heart now; treasure the small things. Although this easily pertains to Jacob (and how he'll wake up for a feeding at some horrible hour in the night and all I want to do is feed him and put him back to bed - but then while I'm waiting for him to burp he starts wanting to work on his sitting and we stay up for a couple hours because it is so much fun and a moment I don't want to lose) it is also the small moments like a comment from a family member or a look from Michael, or even a kiss from Scoot that mean so much to me and make me realize how great life is.

I'm sure there are a lot of other changes (we're not even going to get into physical changes now) that I don't even realize happened, but I really do love who I've become in this mommy role.